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41 Shikshapatra
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PostPosted: Sat May 22, 2010 10:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jai Shree Krishna


My Dear Brother,

A time has arrive that can destroy the intelligence of all, therefore the intelligent will always conceal their gem of spiritual awareness. Practice good association, Shri Krishna's remembrance and refuge. Without them
all efforts are useless. The compassionate Shri Mahaprabhuji has said to his followers, "Please the lotus feet of Shri Krishna. He is the stimulating force of the intelligence." The Gayati mantra is the means and the cause of meditation. Also, in the Gita, Shri Krishna blissfully says to Arjuna, "I give the yoga of intellect through which you can achieve me." when the mind is still, Hari remains firm in the heart, of this there is no doubt. If intelligence is ruined, then as in the Gita it is explained "all is destroyed". Therefore, the mind should be protected for it is the foundation of bhava. Daily eat prasada and make seva. Attend satsang and always listen to and praise Krishna.

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PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2010 12:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jai Shree Krishna,


My Dear Brother,

While the world should be forgotten, Krishna is
always worthy of remembrance. when samsara is remembered, Krishna
is forgotten. The soul should always strive for Krishna bhava.
when everything is for Him, then one forgets the home and other
samsaras. Renounce your hindrances and cherish His perfect
oneness. Place your desires and feelings into Hari. See
everything in this world with the bhava, see it as a creation of

Krishna's proximity is the true place, good association is
the true time, our wealth is Krishna, He is the most valuable. Leave
prideful sense of doership. Mantra is Krishna's name merged with
His attributes and lilas. Krishna's seva, the accumulation of all
spiritual practices, is the true karma. These six devotional
practices constitute satsang.

Time truly arises in a place close to Krishna where bhaktas
live and meet for satsang. Their association gives fine
intelligence; it is the ultimate spiritual remedy. But only when
pride is removed can there be refuge. Whoever has knowledge of
Krishna's name and form know His seva to be the ultimate pursuit.
when you find such a saint who is focused on seva, all can be
perfected. In the Gracefilled Path satsang is the complete
practice. without it, nothing is perfected. For this reasone the
wise make efforts for satsang. Shr Vallabhacharya says in his
Bhakti Vardhini.

"The bhaktas should remain in a place related to Hari, with
those who are ever intent on Him striking a balance between being
too close or too distant so that the mind is not spoiled."

The question arises, how to have have one's consciousness
connected to seva when there are impurities in the intellect?
That is when one should consider living in the proximity of other
bhaktas. My brother, contemplate and keep in your heart what
have expressed. To accomplish your spiritual goals, live around
other bhaktas.

Madhurkomalkant padavali namami
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PostPosted: Sun May 30, 2010 3:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jai Shree Krishna,


My Dear Brother,

In the Path of Grace, the reward is beyond any performance and does not emerge through the power of practice. The Srutis relate, "He is not achieved through discourse or other means."

Hari's choice is the root of everything. The bhaktas repose is according to Krishna's election which is of of two types, direct and in succession. Those established in lila are direct, the others come in succession. Those chosen by Hari through Shri Vallabhacharya are in succession. Bhaktas in the lila are understood in two ways. The Gopis who are the incarnated lines of
Vedas, Hari elected directly while the Gopis who were sages in their previous birth, where chosen by Krishna in succession through Lord Rama.

Another distinction is that when Krishna appeared upon the earth, the connection to Him was directly through the atma (the soul) while during other times, including the present, connection is found through being a follower or "dasa". "Dasa" is of two types: lawful and gracefilled. The souls by nature is a "dasa" and therefore not independent.

As per the soul's choice, Krishna responds. Those who have chosen the lawful path have their faith in practice while those who look towards the Grace Filled path, have in every way a corresponding vision. Shri Vallabhacharya's mercy is a mixture of grace and law. His acceptance of his souls as well as what he taught for the benefit of his followers are both established in law.

Our concerns relating to this world or the next are all within Hari, therefore be without concern. Shri Vallabhacharya has taught, "The Lord of All who is the true Self of all will do as He pleases." Shri Krishna, a friend to the humble will not disregard His bhaktas. Sometimes, it may appear that Hari's wish is contrary because the bhakta is seen experiencing hardship. Actually, Hari, the abode of mercy, always acts on the bhakta's accord. Bhaktas should yearn for Hari and not pray to Him for
anything. Merciful Hari grants the soul who longs for Him divine pleasure.

Shri Vallabhacharya has taught that enthused seva and reflection upon Krishna's attributes, names and lilas grants sure entrance into the Path. Other practices directed towards impersonal mergence into Krishna are definitely not connected to the main fruit of experiencing Krishna personally. Through Mahaprabhuji's grace and contemplation upon his extensive teachings, as well as through offering him worship, the divine
sweet pangs of separation are achieved. Reflect on the nature of refuge and be nourished through enlightened association, otherwise the grace filled reward can not be received even after the greatest of efforts. Keep the association of those whose downpour of speech increases bhava and avoid all others. If that association is not possible then it is better to remain like you are deaf or dumb.

God's glories do not emerge from the mouths of the ignoble. Like there is not fruit from hearing the Gayatri mantra from a barbarian, so there is no fruit received from hearing about ones dharma from someone who has no experience. There is not only no reward to such listening, but contrary impurity arises. Therefore, be very cautious about whom you listen to and praise Hari with. It is difficult to find upon this earth a bhakta who is freed from hankering, surrendered at Shri Vallabhacharya's lotus feet, as well as a seer of Bhagavat. So, it is our duty to resort to the practice of surrender by following Shri Vitthalnathji advise of refuge in Krishna. Then, all will be attained. And so, it is the duty of the surrendered bhakta to
discover Krishna's grace and quickly obtain a vision of His divine form.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 3:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jai Shri Krishna

many thanks for the wonderful continuation
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 10:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jai Shri Krishna

please continue when convenient - only few more to go
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 7:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote



My Dear Brother,

Hari will not enter the heart of one who is
infatuated with desire, angry, attached to samsara, greedy and
always trying to accumulate wealth.

Hari will not enter the heart of one who is without
compassion, love and contentment or distressed by sadness,
plagued with fear or focused upon sense objects.

Hari will not enter the heart of one who is prideful, cruel,
supporter of evil, only knowledge oriented or who considers other
dieties to be equal to Krishna.

Hari will not enter the heart of one who is worldly, turned
from Krishna's bhaktas, who sees imperfection in Krishna's lila,
and who is intent upon performing dry rituals.

Hari will never enter the heart of one who is against Shri
Vallabhacharya and daily adorns himself with untruths.

Hari enters the heart of one who is humble, pure, devoid of
worldliness and intent upon lila, meditation and who always takes
the shelter of Shri Vallabhacharya and is free from hankerings.

Hari enters the heart of one who desires the dust of the
Vrindavan Gopi's lotus feet, who is intent upon singing His
glories and who has bhava for the meaning of Krishna's names.
Hari enters the heart of one who has no other refuge, has
one pointed worship and who has achieved firm faith as well as
love for God's dharma, renunciation and is filled with Hari's
attributes .

Hari enters the heart 0f one who has the great desire for
Krishna, knows bhakti nectar and is beyond all other tastes, who
is immovable and very anxious to behold Krishna's lively lila.

Hari enters into the heart of one in a second who has
numerous desires for Krishna's celebration and is unattached to
all other things.

Jai Shree Krishna
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 7:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote


My Dear Brother,

In the Path of Grace, whatever happens anywhere is
all due to Hari's wish. Until He desires to give the fruit, there
remains a veil. Humility in Hari destroys the veil. Upon those
who are humble, Hari's wish is agreeable and when Hari
accommodates, what fruit can remain difficult to achieve? Grace
is showered upon the humble. This is clearly seen in the world.

So know the Path's supreme practice is humility while ego and
pride always breed devotional discord. Bhaktas who desire the
divine reward know these two hindrances and make efforts to
dissolve them. Through their practice, they curb all unruly
senses or remove obstructions are through surrender to Hari.
Those who have taken the refuge of Shri Vallabhacharya, the
divine form of fire, through his connection their impurities
incinerated in a moment. So, take the shelter of those who have
one pointed refuge in Shri Vallabhacharya. Strive to understand
his teachings, avoid bad association and desire satsang. with
vision, be firm in seva and renounce other supports. Always
remain free of hankering, greed and other complications.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2010 9:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jai Shri Krishna

very nice, thank you
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 9:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jai Shri Krishna,

Please continue at your convenience *ehm*... only 8 more to go >?
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PostPosted: Thu May 26, 2011 4:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jai Shri Krishna

Can we please revive and continue this satsang too
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PostPosted: Sat May 28, 2011 10:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jai shri Vallabh.....

Its a bit difficult to post on shiksha patras, but with thakurji's grace I shall try to put only the translations as per my limited understanding....

Letter No 34.

In this letter Shri Hariraiji explains on 2 types of bhakti...

(1) Mukharvind Bhakti. ( Can be related to Sakhya bhakti )
(2) Charnarvind Bhakti. ( Can be related to Dasya Bhakti )

Shlok 1 and 2 :

By doing the bhakti of Mukharvind of Shri Thakurji, the fruit which is obtainrd by itself ( swastu sah ) is shri Thakurji. And that Shri Krishna should always be served. When one does bhakti of Shri Charan of Shri Thakurji which is ' Dharma Sevatma roopya ' (it means which is equal to serving all the dharms ) then there is no doubt ( praapyo na sanshaya ) that one obtains Shri Krishna who has got all the dharms within himself.

Shlok 3 :

By doing bhakti of Shri Charan or by doing dasya bhakti, one gets Sayujya ( Salvation ). But in this bhakti one does not get seva of adharamrut of shri Thakurji, whereas in the bhakti of mukharvind, one gets to do this seva.

Shlok 4 and 5 :

The fruit of doing Mukharvind bhakti can only and only be obtained by pushti which means by grace of Shri Acharyaji who is mukharvind swaroop of Shri Thakurji. Thats why those jeevas who are doing the mukharvind bhakti should first and foremost take strong ashray of Shri Acharyaji because of whom evwrething becomes siddha / every thing becomes possible.

Shlok 6 :

After describing the above two bhaktis, I ( Shri Hariraiji ) shall tell the different avasthas ( different situations ) in bhakti and also various sadhans for ' swatoshay ' ( swa santosh / self satisfaction ) which are placed in my heart by the grace of Shri Acharyaji....

Shlok 7 and 8 :

Just as in Maryada marg, Bramha bhav is the main sadhan, In Pushtimarg Sarvatma bhav is the main sadhan. Though Sarvatma bhav is said to be the main sadhan, but actually in reality this Sarvatma bhav is 'mukhya fal' ( main fruit ) because when sarvatma bhav enters in one's heart only then the fruit of Mukharvind bhakti becomes siddha. Here Shri Hariraiji explains the swaroop of Sarvatma Bhav which is as follows...

" Deh, antarkaran, atma... te sarva no je bhaav thi thakurji ma nischay aatmabhav thai ane je bhav thi aapnu deh aadik samagra bhagvad arthe upyogi thai tene sarvatma bhav kehvay "

Shlok 9 :

One should try to protect one's deh ( body ) but its reason should be that if one protects its body, then it can be useful in thakurji's seva. But it should not be used in wordly pleasures.

In Sarvatma bhav or we can also say that in pushtimarg one's selfish desire is Shri Thakurji himself, but this selfish desire in sevaks is found only and only to serve thakurji with their variety of bhavas to obtain invaluable affection for Shri Thakurji...

I think that there are 25 shloks in this letter. awaiting more vaishnavs to add to the topic...

Please feel free for any corrections....
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 1:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote


Letter 34


My Dear Brother,

Bhakti's most visible form is adoring Shri
Krishna's lotus face. He is always worship worthy and is the
reward. Through devotion to His feet, the dharma form of God, the
distinguished Hari is definitely achieved. But, its focus is upon
an impersonal mergence into Brahman and not with coveting the
elixir of seva. Bhakti towards His face is direct seva, a reward
attainable only through grace. It comes with Mahaprabhuji's
mercy. So first, take his refuge, then everything is attained.

The two types of bhakti explained above, bhakti towards His
feet and towards His face, their posture, practice and other
salient aspects become firm in the heart through the power of
grace. I explain this for the spiritual satisfaction of the
bhaktas. In the lawful path, practice is geared towards entering
the undifferentiated Brahman while in the Pushti Path the
practice is to experience Krishna everywhere. It is considered
the reward and known when there is Total Bhava. The bhakta then
experiences bhava throughout the body, in the mind, intellect,
consciousness, self as well as the soul. when Shri Krishna bhava
is realized everywhere, one's body, its activities and everything
are truly for Him. Don't expect Hari to accomplish your material
goals, yet still take care to nourish the body so it can be
useful within His lila.

Don't be selfish, be concerned with Hari. with that bhava,
love Hari unconditionally. Do not hanker after worldly things.
Like someone who loses a worldly fortune feels like dying, a
similar yet divine feeling should be generated if you lose His
seva. when there is a natural renunciation of the world and Veda,
as well as freedom from hankering, that state is called Total
Bhava. On this Path, the major consideration is humility and not
h other practices like listening etc. It if from humility that Hari
is pleased, appears and grants the award. who possess humility
can serve on this Path.

Whatever destroys humility should be known as contrary.
After acceptance into the Path, Hari increases humility, destroys
pride and other worldly complications. Hari takes care of those
He has accepted, but when the soul is impure by nature, what
happens then? Hari, acting like a father, at that time may
reprimand, but for those who have taken His shelter, they
understand it all as a blessing. Hari may ignore others, yet can
even punish His intimate soul.

Because Krishna is hidden, always yearn for Him. He is
pleased to see His bhakta's aspire for Him. Therefore, to
increase bhava, keep association with yearning bhaktas. As a
person is afraid of standing before a lion, have similar fear of
bad association. It destroys bhava. We have heard the story of
Bharat and others who fell victim to bad association as well as
the story of Bhisam who turned from God because of bad food and
association. So always expel worldly mind, it destroys Krishna
bhava, while divine bhava destroys worldly bhava. Be content and
renounced in your heart, with that practice, one day you will
become totally liberated from worldly things.

When there is no hankering, the mind can focus on
renunciation. when there is no greed there is contentment. Know
both greed and desire obstruct devotion. Hankering drives the
senses from Hari while greed breeds hypocrisy. To live with
anger is a great obstacle for it destroys humility, the all
important practice of the Path. Humility is the seed of seva,
Krishna's names and all other devotional undertakings. As mantra
texts reveal that only a mantra that has a seed can grant the
reward, similarly without the seed of humility, there can be no
grace filled practices like Krishna seva, Make every effort to
protect humility. It was from humility the Gopis became
perfected. It was from humility that the Kondinya sages could
worship Krishna without even seeing Him.

Always have intense yearning for Hari. He is nectar form,
replete with all lilas and the final reward. Within that form,
always clearly experience at any single time, all of His lilas.
Comprehend this and develop the grace filled bhava, all
achievable through the grace of Shri Mahaprabhuji. Those who
always appreciate Kristma's nectar with every bhava, have
constant refuge.
Madhurkomalkant padavali namami
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 1:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jai Shree Krushna

Letter 35 & 36

My Dear Brother,

Bad company and conversation coupled with no
satsang all bring the bhakta great pain. My fortune is to have
both. Pain cause by another or by some worldly situation can be
removed through knowledge or devotion, but not the distress
brought by bad association. The speech of the ill natured are
like arrows that pierce my delicate body. I am left with no
composure. In these days, most people are subject to bad
association and know that even a pure mind in a second can be
cleverly defiled by poor company. The situation is that household
life requires livelihood that cannot be achieved without some
worldly contact and there is not enough firm faith to remain
without some sort of worldly occupation.

The snake Taksha was antagonist to Hari and was sent in
anger and ignorance by a Brahman to kill the great bhakta
Parikshit. Similarly, now is sent to me the words of wicked
people steeped in darkness. Their ignorance, poor speech, slander
and evil actions devour me. How they need to practice proper
action and speech. Even those who lack spiritual understanding or
have contrary knowledge can with some difficulty one day achieve
wisdom and purity. Those who are totally evil and completely
devoid of compassion lack all spiritual means. Like a genderless
being can not become a man through any medicine, or like a person
who is plague by the three great imbalances of "kapha", "pitta",
and "vahu" will not live despite any medicine, listening and
other bhakti practices that are dry and devoid of love bear no
fruit. Generally speaking, evil souls can not contain love.
Prolonged association with them can contaminate even the bhakta.
Those treading the Path of Devotion should leave the association
of those who are evil, have had habits, pride of knowledge,
contrary vision and no love or hatred for bhaktas.


Dear Brother,

Those on the bhakti path should not have anxiety.
Like the master of the home feels welcome in a clean home and
shuns a filthy abode, the complete Hari does not enter a mind
cluttered with anxiety. In the Navaratna, grace filled Shri
Mahaprabhuji has said,

"Since everything is connected to the Lord and cannot be
separated, then even when something seems to be used for another
or one's own own self, why worry?"

The path of dharma speaks that in this fourth age of Kali,
an era of struggle, effect is by action and not by association.
But now we are in the fifth age and so Shri Mahaprabhuji has
advised his followers to avoid bad association. In regard to the
future, be reserved and have a renounced attitude. Abondon
things when the time is ripe. As you would make immediate efforts
to cure a disease make efforts to eradicate obstruction that
block devotion. In this way, obstructions can be gradually

Don't harbor senseless concerns, they breed confusion. Like
a jug with holes loses its water, life flows by the attached
householder unseen. The insightful bhakta without delay, cleverly
attaches Himself to Hari's feet. The body is material, never
eternal. False conceptions are all based in ignorance, in the
illusive manifestation of "me and mine". View samsara and it
afflictions as mirages. Accomplished bhaktas experience no
difficulties with attachment, their hindrances abolished through

Hari can not stand His bhakta's sufferings. He removes their
difficulties. Shri Mahaprabhuji told that even in a position of
infirmity, Hari protects. Still, seek solutions to obstacles
through the power of devotional. Renounce what is contrary. Why
worry, even in weakness, Hari does and always will look out for
the bhakta. He is like a father who stands over us. The grace
filled Hari will never forsake those who have constant shelter.
whoever has taken Shri Mahaprabhuji's refuge should have no
anxiety. So take His refuge. Have no concern besides Shri
Krishna's seva. Occupy yourself with the remembrance of

Shri Mahaprabbhuji has taught, "Hari will not allow those
who are upon the Path of Grace to be enmeshed in the world or in
the words of scriptural injunctions. They remain simply

Bhaktas intent upon seva maintain that teaching and quickly
discard grief from the heart.
Madhurkomalkant padavali namami
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 1:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jai Shree Krushna,

Letter 37 & 38


My Dear Brother,

I lack pure bhava, total love and humility. I'm
not centered in the teachings nor do I have any faith, or respect
for Hari. I lack satsang and seva. I am devoid of the remembrance
of my dedication and have no refuge. I have no wisdom, strength
and resolved surrender. I am not inspired by God's greatness, nor
do I feel love anywhere. For me, even the story of devotional
attachment and addiction are extremely distant. I have no
entrance into the devotional fold or position within the Path of
Dharma. I lack pure bhava for the land and because of this impure
time, nothing Vedic can be accomplished. I am preoccupied with
occupation and so Hari is not in my mind. when I have no
renunciation for the sake of seva, how can there even be talk of
self realization. I am not inspired towards Krishna's divine
separation and have no control over my mind and speech. I am not
aloof from worldly association and attached to many things of the
home. I am not freed from pride nor attached to my own dharma.
have not risen above non devotional interests. Hari what shall I
do. I am filled with impurity, have no good attributes yet Hari,
I daily reflect upon my total lack of means.


My Dear Brother,

Shri Krishna is nectar filled, always joined with
the Gopis in Vrindavan by the Yamuna river surrounded with
praise. He is beyond both the form and the formless, attainable
only through bhava. His fame as Brahman is renowned. One primal
manifestation is this creation. Another partial manifestation
appeared upon the earth as the Divine Fish. Know Him.

Krishna's effulgent form is sometimes called the
omnipresent Vaikuntha. There resides the bliss of Brahman and
Laxshmi, the goddess of wealth. The perfect bliss manifestation
is Krishna Himself. Vishnu, who sports with Laxshmi in Vaikuntha
is a partial manifestation of Krishna. Laxshmi is Vishnu's shakti
and looks after Vaikuntha.

Shri Krishna is the source of all avatars and has four
manifestations or "vyuhas". Pradhyumna looks after continuation
of lineage, Vasudeva awards liberation, Anniruddha affords
protection to bhaktas and Sankarshan destroys evil forces. These
four vyuhas manifest for specific reasons, but not for Shri
Krishna's realization. Shri Krishna is within them yet not
attainable through an avatar.

Confusion reigns in people who say Krishna is material.
Others in ignorance imagine His deeds as some sort of secondary
manifestation. Nectar form Krishna enjoys only lila. His partial
manifestations remove the burdens of the world. Shri Krishna
always resides in Braja. He grants through His divine form
Supreme Bliss. In Mathura He is merciful. In Braja, for sheer
play He creates many manifestations. The lila, devoid of all
limitations is only found with Shri Krishna in Braja. Krishna's
Mathura and Dwarka lilas hold all dharmas but are lawful by
nature. Only Krishna's lila in Braja transcends limitations.
Supreme bliss manifested within Krishna's childhood and other
lilas. It is taught that in Braja the nectar lila is everywhere
and the bhava is very esoteric.

Shri Krishna, the divine form of desire, is not affect by
age. Absorb yourself in that eternal form. In the Path of Grace,
consciousness in Krishna is seva and is perfected through the use
of body and wealth. Remember your Krishna dedication in the
company of other bhaktas. Good association and resolved faith are
two necessary ingredients. Krishna is under the sway of grace and
never avoids the humble. He protects His bhaktas from contrary
bhava. Be inclined towards the Path of Dharma with a clear mind
directed towards Hari. It purifies the mind and directs it
towards Hari. Do not be hypocritical and always have firm faith
in Shri Mahaprabhuji's lotus feet. He inspired the way. Through
Him all fruits are attained. In particular, pay attention to
Govardhandas' letter. Beyond this, what more can I say.
Madhurkomalkant padavali namami
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 1:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jai Shree Krushna,

Letter 39 & 40


My Dear Brother,

Engage in "satsang" and always have your mind on
Krishna. with reverence, reflect upon the mantra you have heard,
"Shri Krishna is my refuge." Commit yourself to making Krishna
seva well and know to honor bhaktas and others is a part of it.
Through Krishna based activities our refuge increases. Krishna is if
content with seva and blissful to worship. Although Krishna is
difficult to praise yet can be brought under control through
seva. whoever performs Krishna seva is fortunate. Be constant in tag
seva. Here, I remain with Shyamdas. I will tell Shri Vittalraya jig
all your news. Write any new developements. what else can I


My Dear Brother,

I express to you my anguish through this letter.
am sad because the bhakta Mahattara has left and you live so far
away. Through the power of grace, I have come to know something p
about the dharma of the Path. But who can remove the anguish in
my heart that arises from my devotional imperfections? I am the
king of all the hypocrites. Hari has considered this in His
heart. Although He is merciful and affectionate to the humble, He
avoids me. Hari loses interest in the soul when it loses interest
in other bhaktas. Whose shelter can be taken when you are lost in
a jungle.

Hari has no imperfection while I have absolutely no merit.
Whoever Hari accepts, He forgets their heaps of impurities and
gathers their merit. Like a good medicine can do nothing for
someone who is dead, similarly what can seva and other devotions
do for me? Even after much spiritual discussion, it is not firm
in the heart. I have no experience of renunciation. My seva is
obstructed by enjoyment, anxiety and other complications. When
there is attachment to household wealth and other things, how can
there be any perfection of inner seva. The disappearance of my
father brings misfortune and all the great bhaktas have also gone
far away from my vision.

Without the bhaktas association, I can not contemplate the1
Bhagavata. Without the bhava of refuge, the heart is very
distressed. Love for worldly chatter has destroyed the mind's
ability to recite the mantra, "Shri Krishna is my refuge." Refuge
in worldly pride destroys humility. How can I remember refuge
when I have been abandoned by the bhaktas. without complete
renunciation, one pointed refuge is very difficult. when my mind
wavers, how can there be shelter at Shri Krishna's feet. How can
I, the king of fools, have wisdom and resistance, the very
foundation of refuge.

I have left the emulation of the bhava of Braja, now where
is that land of Braja, graced with the markings of Shri Krishna?
where is the Govardhan Hill, that nourished the bhava of the
forest woman. Where is that land, where the Yamuna flows
spreading about the nectar of Iila? where is the call of the
flute that attracts everything in Braja. Where is that herd of
cows that the Lord wipes with His lotus hand? Where are those
trees that ooze the nectar of numerous lilas. Where are those
birds that sit on the branches of trees in Vrindavan, intent
upon listening to the sound of His flute? Where is the sand
touched by the Braja Gopis? Where is the auspicious sound of
churning butter? Where is the bodily connection to Yamuna's sands
and the touch of her waters? I am always turned from Hari. How
could I be devotionally accomplished?

What is so unusually about always being distressed when I am
far from Supreme Bliss? without the nourishment of bhava, I have
no firm shelter at Shri Mahaprabhuji's feet. My attention is on
objects of sense and not in Hari. I am devoid of any practice. If
I had bhava, then it would be justified to be "practiceless", but
because I have no bhava, my lack of practice is due to fault. How
can a weak body that is blind, dumb, deaf, without hands,
crippled and mad accomplish anything. I have no desire for Hari
and am engrossed in other desires. Now Hari avoids me.
continually consider in my heart, how will I overcome this.

My in charge renunciate manager has acted improperly and
gotten a woman pregnant. She aborted the child with some medicine
obtained in Surat. Between the two of them, there was death. Of
this there is no doubt. The bhakta Premji with some effort was
able to resolve my complication. who can I have faith in? This is
very distressing. The activities of my home require outside help.
Although I feel affection, I always cognize my imperfections.
Premji lives like a renunciate. I can forgive all mistakes but
when Premji tried to leave he was under the sway of false anger.
For this reason I have written you this much. Now, grace is as
before so be fearless and write distinctive letters. Heap praise
upon him so his mind remains firm. Gossip is a big fault and
should be avoided. You are the physician of the home and bring
great comfort. Your association can uplift the fallen. Know the
rest from Premji's letter.
Madhurkomalkant padavali namami
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